Dear New Hockey Parents: 20 Things We Wish We Knew Before the First Season

Welcome to the world of youth hockey—a frosty arena filled with flying pucks, oversized laces that will be tripped over, loud whistles, and louder parents. If you're reading this, you've probably just enrolled your child in their first season and have been told it’s "just a sport." Oh, how that is a line of bullshit. What you’ve really done is signed a long-term lease agreement with the rink, committed to more travel than a “just starting out” rock band, and adopted a lifestyle involving caffeine and constantly evolving gear regrets.

But don't worry. We've been there—huddled under a blanket with your seat warmer at a freezing rink at 6:15 a.m. on a Sunday, clutching our travel mugs and wondering if we remembered to pack the mouthguard and neck guard. This is your initiation into a tribe of hockey parents who’ve learned—most cases the hard way—what this sport demands and gives back in return.

Here are 20 things we wish we knew before the first season. Consider this your sacred scroll.

1. The Rink Becomes Your Second Home

That first step into the rink is a chilly warning shot. It’s not just a place for games—it’s a social hub, a therapy center, and occasionally, a war zone over whose kid didn’t pass the puck. Bring blankets, seat cushions, extra hoodies, and possibly thermal underwear. Also: Wi-Fi is sketchy at best. Embrace offline living—or download everything before you leave the house. Audible is your friend for those long practices if you want to tune out the madness.

2. Skates Are Sharpened, Not Bought Sharp

Your child will fall. A lot. Not because they’re unathletic, but because those brand-new skates aren’t game-ready. Skates must be sharpened before hitting the ice and regularly after. You want to sharpen roughly every 6 hours of ice time. Find a local pro shop and get comfortable with phrases like “half-inch hollow,” “5/16th please” and “cross grind.” Also, label those skates. Every size-3 Bauer looks the same in a locker room of feral 9-year-olds.

3. You Will Buy the Wrong Gear—Probably Twice

The gear wall at the hockey store looks like something from NASA. Shoulder pads, elbow pads, pants (not really pants), jock shorts/pants (or in our house “unders”), two different kinds of sticks, two types of tape. The salesperson will smile knowingly as you overpay for shin guards that are too small. You’ll eventually learn that gently used gear saves marriages and mortgages. Sideline swap is a game changer. Pro tip: Don’t buy the expensive stick when they start out. It will break or crack within a month.

4. Your Calendar Will Never Be the Same

That color-coded calendar you used to be so proud of? Burn it. Now you’ll live by tournament brackets, last-minute ice times, and the group text from your coach or team manager. Holidays will be redefined. Thanksgiving? Tournament. Spring Break? Playoffs. Sunday mornings? Game day. You’ll cancel more weekend plans than a surgeon on call.

5. Rink Etiquette is Real

Stand etiquette. Parking lot etiquette. Locker room etiquette. There’s a rhythm to it all. Clap for both teams, don’t coach from the stands, and never—ever—argue with a volunteer timekeeper. Also, the parent who brings snacks for the team after a win? Absolute legend.

6. Hockey Bags Could Swallow a Grown Man

The bag your child will carry is approximately the size of a Smart Car. Inside is a combination of pads, sticks, socks, and, eventually, crushed crackers and granola bar wrappers. You’ll think about organizing it. You’ll try. Eventually, you’ll just toss everything in and hope for the best. Bonus tip: keep backup socks and tape in your car.

7. The Smell Is…Permanent

This is not sweat. This is a full-bodied, soul-seeping aroma that settles into your car upholstery and your nightmares. Febreze will laugh at you. It smells like old beef jerky and broken dreams. Mostly, you learn to accept it as the price of participation.

8. Hockey Mornings Are Unholy

You will wake up at 4:30 a.m. and wonder what life choices led to this moment. Your child will either be bouncing with excitement or comatose in the backseat. You will question your sanity—until they score their first goal or flash that smile when you hand them a banana and granola bar post-game. Then it’s all worth it… until next weekend.

9. Tournaments Will Take Over Your Life

You thought it was just a couple of games. Then you found yourself driving across state lines in a snowstorm with a car full of sweaty gear and food wrappers. Early morning rink hallways will echo with the screams of unsupervised hockey kids. You’ll forget what day it is, but you’ll know your kid’s point totals. Bring snacks, coffee, portable chargers, and low expectations for a sense of calm.

10. You’re Going to Cry

The first time they skate out with the team. The first time they fall and pop back up. The first win. The last tournament game. The team chant before heading out for warm-ups. You’ll get misty. Don’t fight it. Hockey turns even the toughest parents into puddles.

11. Your Kid Might Not Be the Star (And That’s Okay)

Every team has a ringer, and chances are, it’s not your kid. What matters is effort, learning, and the love of the game. Some kids peak at 10, others bloom in high school. Let your child enjoy the ride without the pressure to carry the team. Coaches in the long run want hard workers over the best skill.

12. Coach is Not the Enemy

Your kid didn’t get a lot of ice time? It happens. Coaches juggle development, game flow, and fair play. Respect their decisions. Encourage your child to speak directly to the coach if they have questions—it builds accountability and confidence. Plus, it saves you from being that parent. Allowing your child to take ownership of their own ice time will change their perspective and drive their work ethic.

13. Rink Friends Become Real Friends

The other parents on your kid’s team? They become your road-trip partners, coffee saviors, and emotional support village. You’ll bond over goals and groans. These are your people now.

14. You Will Question Your Sanity…. Daily

Like when you realize you left your coffee on the roof of your car. Like when your child forgets their skates—for the third time. But don’t worry, questioning your sanity is part of the hockey experience. It builds character…. Unfortunately.

15. Practice Is More Important Than Games

Games are exciting, but the real growth happens at practice. Skating drills, puck handling, positional awareness—it all builds over time. Don’t measure development by the scoreboard. Celebrate the small wins, like a clean pass or a solid backcheck. Also ask your child to focus on the edge work even when it is hard and repetitive.

16. Off-Ice Training Is No Longer Optional

Today’s players need more than just ice time. Agility, strength, and recovery matter. But don’t overdo it. Keep off-ice fun—road hockey, soccer, biking. Fuel their love of being active. Here is a link to the off-ice training article that I have already written. Tons of great info.

17. Your Wallet Will Cry

Registration fees, team apparel, travel costs, stick replacements—it adds up faster than you think. Budget early. Look for gear swaps, sponsorships, and fundraising events. And maybe skip the $300 stick for your squirt. Hockey takes a village. If you have that grandparent that wants to help don’t turn it away.

18. They Grow Out of Everything… Sooner than you think

Skates that fit last month suddenly don’t. Shin pads, gloves, even jerseys get tight mid-season. Size up when you can and keep an eye on local used gear sites or if any players in your organization want to hand down. Search online for used gear for those crazy growth spurts.

19. Your Kid Will Remember How You Made Them Feel

They won’t remember the final score of that third game in February. But they’ll remember if you encouraged them after a tough shift, cheered even when they didn’t score, and let them be a kid. Be their biggest fan, not their toughest critic.

20. It’s All Worth It

The friendships. The lessons. The family road trips. The triumphs and the heartbreaks. Hockey becomes more than a sport—it becomes a memory machine. Years from now, you’ll miss the chaos. The early mornings. The car snacks. The crazy hockey haircuts. The way they looked in their gear, nervous and proud. You’ll remember the laughs and the frozen fingers and the way your child beamed when they saw you in the stands. This ride is a wild one but it’s so worth it.

Conclusion: Welcome to the Club

You’re officially part of the hockey parent tribe. There’s no handbook—only stories, shared coffee, and support from those who’ve been there. Take the wins and the losses in stride. Laugh as much as you can. And keep extra socks, water bottles and tape in your car.

Buckle up