Mentors in Youth Hockey: Why Your Kid Needs One (And No, You Don’t Count, Dad)

Let’s face it: youth hockey is not for the faint of heart. Early mornings, long tournaments, broken laces, and lost water bottles. Emotional highs, and even higher food bills. And through it all, we hockey parents are doing our best — coaching from the stands (bad idea), sharpening skates at 6am on our $1200 Sparx sharpening system (bless you), and Googling “how to tell if my kid still likes hockey.”

But here’s a game-changer for helping a growing hockey player that most of us overlook: mentorship.

No, not just you giving pep talks on the way home from the rink while they scroll through the NHl app. A real mentor — someone your kid looks up to, listens to, and learns from. Someone who’s been through the hockey grind (or is still in it) and has the skate blisters to prove it.

What Is a Mentor in Youth Hockey?

Let’s define it simply: a mentor is someone who has experience and wisdom, and who helps guide your child through the ups, downs, and in-betweens of the hockey chronicles of Narnia.

This could be:

• An older player on a higher-level team

• A former coach with patience and a sense of humor

• A family friend who played college and/or junior hockey

• Your kid’s favorite referee (okay,  very rare, but not impossible)

A mentor is not just a skills coach. They’re not there to fix your kid’s slapshot (although they might). They’re there to build confidence, teach resilience, and offer perspective from outside the family bubble.

Why Mentorship Matters in Youth Hockey (a.k.a. “Stuff My Kid Won’t Believe Until Someone Else Says It”)

1. They Listen to Other People Better Than They Listen to You

You could be Wayne Gretzky, and your kid will still tune you out like the have a significant ear infection impeding their hearing when you say “You should really work on your edges.”

But if a 17-year-old AAA player tells them, “Hey, edges are everything if you want to make the team,” suddenly it’s gospel. Mentors have cool factor and pizazz. And sometimes that’s all it takes to get a lesson to sink in.

2. They Provide Perspective Beyond the Scoreboard

After a 9-1 loss, you’re trying to stay positive (“You only lost by 8!”), but your kid is crushed. A mentor can say, “Hey, I got cut from a team once too. You bounce back.” Or, “I played like crap last weekend. It happens.”

That kind of perspective is solid gold. Especially when it is coming from someone who’s been through the trenches — and come out the other side — it hits differently.

3. They Model the Behavior You Hope for Your Kid

We all want our hockey players to grow into kind, respectful, hard-working human beings. Mentors should model that. They show your kid how to lead, how to deal with pressure, and how to handle success without showboating like they just scored the OT winner in Game 7 of the Cup Final. (Even though it was a breakaway in a U8 in house league game.)

4. They Can Help Your Kid Navigate the Next Step

Whether your player is moving up to checking, trying out for travel, or eyeing prep school, a mentor who’s already been there is invaluable.

They can explain:

• What to expect at tryouts

• How to balance school and hockey

• What scouts actually care about (spoiler: not your sick celly)

Plus, they help demystify the process and take some of the pressure off — for you and your kid.

How to Find a Mentor (Without Making It Weird)

We’re not saying you should hang around the rink asking teenagers if they want to be friends with your 11-year-old. That’s a quick path to being asked to leave for being the weird dad…

Instead, try these natural ways to create mentor opportunities:

🏒 Ask the Coaches

Many coaches love to connect younger players with older ones from their organization. Some programs even have formal mentor systems — if yours doesn’t, suggest it!

🏒 Older Siblings or Friends’ Kids

Got a neighbor whose high schooler plays varsity? That kid could be a fantastic informal mentor. Just one skate together can make your player feel like they’re in the presence of a celebrity.

🏒 Team Captains or Alumni

If your organization has a history of players moving on to juniors or college, ask if they’d be willing to come speak to the team or run a casual skills session. The impact of “I used to play right here, just like you” is huge.

🏒 Athlete to Athlete

This is a newer online platform that helps link your player up with a D1 college mentor that is going through the same sport. They can help your kid navigate the ups and downs and also give real world experiences.

But Wait, What About Me? Aren’t I the Mentor?

Look, you are your kid’s biggest fan. You’re their unpaid Uber driver, nutritionist, emotional support doctor, and gear-repair technician. You play a role no one else can — but sometimes, you need to step back.

Not forever. Not emotionally. But just enough to let someone else speak into your child’s hockey experience.

Because here’s the thing: mentors don’t replace you. They just reinforce what you’ve been trying to say all along — in a way your kid might finally hear.

Bonus: It Helps You Too

As a parent, there’s nothing like hearing your child say, “Coach told me something awesome today,” and realizing it’s exactly what you’ve been preaching for months.

Suddenly you’re not just a nagging parent — you’re a wise prophet who’s been validated. Sweet, sweet validation.

Plus, having a mentor involved can ease your stress. You don’t have to be everything. You don’t have to solve every problem. You just have to support, encourage, and keep the car gassed up.

Closing Thoughts (From the Locker Room and the Heart)

Mentorship in youth hockey is one of the most underrated advantages your kid can have. It’s not about stacking their resume or turning them into a D1 commit by 13. It’s about helping them love the game, grow as a person, and feel like they belong in the sport — even when it gets difficult.

And trust me, it will get tough. There will be tears. There will be missed nets, blown coverages, and games where the scoreboard makes you question your life choices. But with a good mentor in their corner — and a good parent in the car ride home — your kid will be just fine.

So go find that mentor. And don’t worry: you’ll always be the one they hug after a big win.

Unless they’re 15. Then they just grunt and hand you their gloves.