Playing Up, Playing Down, or Playing Smart: Choosing the Right Path
By Coach Lee | DasherDadHockey.com
“Where parenting, hockey, and humor come together”
🏒 The Dilemma
It’s tryout season. Again.
Your inbox is overflowing with invites to AAA, AA, Spring Showcase, Summer Elite Pre-Showcase Pre-Tournament Prep Camps, and some weird team called “The Titans of Tomorrow.”
And you're left with one big question:
Should my kid play up, play down, or stay put?
This decision can feel like defusing a bomb while blindfolded—with everyone around you yelling things like,
“He’s gotta be seen!”
“She needs to be pushed!”
“If we stay down, they’ll fall behind!”
“If we go up, they’ll get crushed!”
Let’s cut through the noise.
Because this decision isn’t about ego, status, or keeping up with the other rink parents.
It’s about development—physical, mental, and emotional.
And sometimes the smartest path... isn’t the flashiest one.
🎓 What “Playing Up” Actually Means
“Playing up” means moving to a higher age group or competitive level than your kid is technically eligible for.
Sometimes it’s a perfect fit.
Other times, it’s a fast track to burnout, confidence collapse, or riding the pine.
Let’s break it down:
Situation Reality Check
Your kid dominates their age group Might benefit from more challenge
Your kid is middle-of-the-pack Could thrive with confidence and more touches
Your kid is already overwhelmed Playing up may make things worse
You want it more than they do That’s your ego talking, not their development
🚧 Risks of Playing Up Too Soon
Here’s what most people don’t talk about when chasing higher levels:
Less ice time = less development
Higher pressure = more anxiety
Older teammates = faster pace, bigger bodies
Increased mistakes = possible confidence hit
Coaches aren’t always there to develop—they’re trying to win
Unless your kid is physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared, playing up can be more damaging than staying put.
🎯 When It Makes Sense to Stay Put
Sometimes the best thing for your kid is to dominate, to lead, to build confidence.
You don’t sharpen a blade by banging it against steel ten sizes stronger.
You sharpen it by consistent reps, challenge matched with skill, and intentional growth.
Confidence grows where competence is built—not where your kid is benched all season.
💥 Playing Down Isn’t Always a Step Back
Let’s bust a myth right now:
Playing down doesn’t mean your kid failed.
There are legit reasons to stay in a “lower” tier:
Returning from injury
Late physical development
Confidence rebuild
Wanting more ice time and puck touches
Burnout recovery
If your kid lights it up in that division, great. Let them lead. Let them learn. Let them love it.
🧠 MINDSET TIPS: Parents vs. Players
🧑🦱 FOR PLAYERS:
You’re not defined by your level.
The NHL is full of kids who didn’t make AAA. Keep working.Confidence comes from competence.
If you’re not getting touches or opportunities, how can you grow?Don’t fear dominating.
Sometimes learning how to lead a team is just as valuable as being the underdog.
👨👩👧 FOR PARENTS:
Don’t chase prestige.
Ask: What does my kid need right now—not what looks good in a bio.Resist the peer pressure.
Just because Kyle’s dad is posting about AAA doesn’t mean your kid is falling behind.Focus on development windows.
At younger ages, reps matter more than rankings.Be honest about your motives.
Is this about your child’s growth—or your social standing in the bleachers?
🔄 Development Path Framework: 3 Key Questions
Is my kid ready physically?
Can they handle the speed, strength, and size of the next level?Are they emotionally resilient?
Can they bounce back from being benched, yelled at, or challenged?Will they play more—or sit more?
Ice time isn’t a bonus. It’s the development engine.
If you answer “no” to any of these, pause.
🤖 BONUS: The “Should We Play Up?” Flowchart
Let’s make this fun and honest.
START
↓
Is your kid dominating their current level?
→ NO → Stay put. Get reps. Build confidence.
↓ YES
Is your kid physically ready to play against older, bigger kids?
→ NO → Stay put. Injuries and fear kill development.
↓ YES
Does your kid *want* to play up and embrace the challenge?
→ NO → Ask why. Might be fear, or burnout. Respect it.
↓ YES
Will they get meaningful ice time on the new team?
→ NO → Don’t play up to ride pine. It’s a waste.
↓ YES
Will they still love the game after a tough season?
→ NO → Not worth it.
↓ YES
✅ THEN GO FOR IT! And support the ups & downs with perspective.
🏁 Final Shift
There’s no “perfect” level. No one path to greatness.
Your job is to help your kid choose the path that builds them up—not burns them out.
Whether they play up, down, or sideways—remember:
Confidence > clout
Development > status
Love for the game > level of the team
Because the long game isn’t just hockey—it’s raising resilient, self-aware humans who can handle whatever shift comes next.
What are your thoughts about younger athletes playing above their age group? Let me know in the comments section down bellow!
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