Your Athlete Isn’t Lazy—They’re Probably Overwhelmed
By Coach Lee | DasherDadHockey.com
“Where parenting, hockey, and humor come together”
Let’s have an honest talk, hockey parents.
If you’ve ever watched your kid shuffle around before practice like a zombie, drag their gear bag like it’s filled with bricks, and then say something like,
“I don’t feel like going today,”
you’ve probably thought it.
“My kid’s being lazy.”
But hang on—before you call a family meeting or threaten to cancel their hockey season in dramatic soap opera fashion, I want you to consider something much less convenient but far more likely:
Your kid’s not lazy. They’re probably overwhelmed.
😩 Lazy or Overloaded?
Let’s get something clear:
Laziness is a choice.
Overwhelm is a condition.
And a lot of what looks like laziness in young athletes—skipping practice, zoning out during drills, dragging through dryland—is actually a tired brain saying:
“I’ve got nothing left in the tank, and I don’t know how to tell you that without disappointing you.”
Kids won’t always say, “I’m emotionally fried and under-recovered from that 8-game tournament weekend where we ate gas station snacks and slept 4 hours.”
They’ll just say, “I don’t want to go.”
And you’ll want to respond with, “You’re just being lazy.”
But that word?
It shuts the door on understanding. It turns a conversation into a confrontation.
📊 The Truth About Mental Overload
Let’s look at the big picture here:
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, today’s kids have 25% less free time than kids did 30 years ago, and over 80% of youth athletes report stress related to performance, academics, or both【1】.
Now add in:
School
Homework
Travel
Practice schedules
Team expectations
Coach pressure
Parent pressure (yes, yours too)
Friend drama
Screens, social media, and constant comparison
...and you’ve got a recipe for emotional gridlock.
🚧 Symptoms That Look Like Laziness—But Aren’t
Let’s break it down:
What It Looks Like What Might Be Happening
Sluggish at practice Under-slept, underfed, overstimulated
Snapping at teammates Emotional fatigue, overstressed
Avoiding training at home Burnout, fear of failure
Skipping drills Mental overload, sensory fatigue
Can’t get out of bed Not lazy—exhausted
🔥 What Causes the Overwhelm?
1. Overscheduling
Three sports, tutoring, full school days, and a 6:30 AM Saturday puck drop? That’s not structure—it’s a slow burn.
Recovery isn’t optional—it’s required.
2. Performance Pressure
Between scouting talk, tournament drama, and the whisper of “AAA or bust,” even 10-year-olds are feeling the heat.
“If I mess up, I’ll get benched.”
“If I don’t produce, I’m a disappointment.”
“If I rest, I’m falling behind.”
This pressure creates paralysis, not motivation.
3. Digital Drain
Screens are great for highlight reels, but constant screen time = chronic cognitive fatigue. Studies show that kids averaging 3+ hours of screen time daily are more likely to experience disrupted sleep, poor focus, and emotional volatility【2】.
🧰 Fix-It Section: Recovery Tools for the “Lazy” Kid
Let’s arm you with tools. If you’re seeing “lazy,” check for these first:
🛏️ Sleep Audit
A tired kid is an unmotivated kid.
Hockey requires physical recovery + brain recovery.
Checklist:
Is your athlete getting 8–10 hours of sleep per night?
Do they have a screen cutoff time (at least 60 minutes before bed)?
Do they wake up exhausted?
Fix:
Make sleep sacred. Add wind-down rituals. Set a “device bedtime.”
🍴 Food & Hydration Check
Undereating = low energy.
Low energy = “I don’t want to go to practice.”
Quick Fixes:
Complex carbs before activity (oatmeal, rice, bananas)
Hydrate like it’s a job (water + electrolytes)
Post-practice protein (yogurt, chocolate milk, real food)
📵 Screen-Time Reset
Overstimulation mimics burnout.
Gaming, TikTok, and scrolling rob mental energy—leaving none for focus, effort, or teamwork.
Guideline:
2 hours of total recreational screen time per day (including phones and gaming)
Zero screens before hockey or bed
Tip:
Replace “pre-practice scroll” with music, meditation, or 10 minutes of fresh air.
🧠 Emotional Check-In
Instead of yelling, “Get off your butt and get ready!”, try:
“You’ve seemed low energy lately. Are you tired, stressed, or something else?”
That one question could unlock more honesty than 10 lectures.
🚘 Car Ride Cheat Phrases (When They Seem Checked Out)
Don’t accuse—invite.
Say:
“I noticed you seemed off today. Want to talk about it?”
“Was that practice hard because of the drills—or something else?”
“What would help you feel better prepared next time?”
And remember: silence isn’t a failure. It’s processing.
🧠 The Long Game: From Lazy to Self-Aware
Instead of labeling them lazy, teach them how to:
Recognize stress signals
Ask for rest
Balance passion with recovery
Be honest about emotional needs
That’s not softness.
That’s mental toughness in disguise.
🏁 Final Shift
You want your kid to grind. To compete. To outwork.
But first, they have to have the energy to show up.
And that means giving them the tools to recover, regulate, and communicate.
So the next time you catch yourself about to say,
“Stop being lazy,”
try this instead:
“What’s draining you right now—and how can I help?”
Because that’s how we raise hockey players who don’t just survive the grind—they learn to manage it.
Want a one-page printable checklist for “Is My Kid Lazy or Overloaded?” I’ll turn it into a bag stuffer or fridge insert—just say the word.
Coach Lee
www.dasherdadhockey.com
Where parenting, hockey, and humor come together
📚 Footnotes
[1] American Academy of Pediatrics (2022): "Overscheduling and Burnout in Youth Athletes"
[2] NIH / Common Sense Media (2021): "Screen Time and Its Impact on Sleep and Mood in Kids"
